Movies

There are some original voice theatres here in BCN that Kate and I have been seeing American movies. So far we’ve seen Resident Evil 3, The Golden Compass, Beowulf, Cassandra’s Dream, Elizabeth, The Other Boleyn Girl. The movies come out a long time after they open in the states, but at least we get to see some of them. Seeing Elizabeth here in Spain was a little different than watching it in America because it’s about Spain’s past! There are parts in the movie that are in Spanish and there were NO subtitles because everyone in there but us could understand! Kate and I looked at each other and we’re like WHAT?! The movie ended up being the best one we’ve seen here and I would recommend it to anyone.

Redskins

So, Marc and I went to intercambio this morning and during my Español lesson he explained how I sound while speaking Spanish. “You’ve seen old Western movies, right?” “You know when the redskins talk like me bird, you man (while he’s holding his hand behind his head to make feathers out of his fingers).” I’m like looking around to make sure no one heard him and was like REDSKINS are you serious. I have to then explain that people prefer to be called American Indians not called the color of their skin! Marc’s always good for a laugh! He also had a few when he was reading the compositions that I wrote about my birthday and about Greendale. The first composition was about what there is to do in Greendale and of course I added that it was necessary to visit PNS. Marc thought that was funny. The next comp was about my birthday and I wrote the whole thing in the wrong tense! Duh my Spanish sucks! I had to add the part about everyone who is visiting me from America is going to bring me gifts and Marc about peed himself! Hopefully one day I’ll learn to speak Spanish, but at the rate I’m going it’ll be like in 10 years!

Familia

So, picture this…You’re a college graduate with a good job, living on your own, making good money, and basically hating life. You then quit your job with no other in sight, tell your parents and friends that you have decided to pack up your entire life and move across the world, and then leave. How many people’s parents would have freaked out? I bet that many people thought I was just joking that I was going to come here to Spain, but not my family. My parents have been behind me my entire life and this time was no different. One day I was thinking about buying a car and looking at bigger apartments and the next all of my things were boxed up in my rents’ basement and I was flying to BCN to start another NEW life. When I told my mom that I was quitting IU it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and she stood behind me. Telling her I quit my first “real job” was the second hardest thing because I thought she would be disappointed (maybe she was but she never let it show). Dad and Lulu were there the entire time too. The day I quit IU grandma came through with a UC charm that she got when she went to UC for graduate school (I never knew till after I got it) and dad bought Bearcat gear and gave the IU shit away. Living here in Spain has taught me a lot so far and I know I will only learn more in the coming months, but one thing I’ve definitely learned is that I couldn’t ask for a better family! My poor family has had to live with my eccentric life choices, my ever changing mind, my inability to stay in one place too long! I just want to give a shot out to the people who mean the most and don’t get the recognition or thanks that they should; my family.

Vogue

So, the first days Kate, Annie and I were in Spain we saw all these women wearing skinny jeans! We all proclaimed that we would NEVER be caught dead in such a European style…you know we’re rocking em! Kate was like Hell I’ll try em on just to make sure I really hate them! Minutes later she owned like 2 pairs and you know my ass has like 3 pairs! When asked about why she had changed her jean style Kate replied, “Yeah well, I look good in em!” The European style can be categorized in different groups; EuroChic (the wealthy), EuroRastaFucked (dreads, big ball pants, hemp) EuroTrash (mullets, spiky bald shaved curled hair, anything GStar Raw) LostintimeEuro (polyester, plaid pants, chains). The first group EuroChic are the people I see when heading to my night classes and are on the Metro leaving work in their suits, leather boots, scarves, and amazing coats. They are always put together with all the accessories in the right order. They shop at all the great boutiques found here in Spain and the more expensive shops that I window shop from. All of my kid’s moms are super cute and trendy and definitely fit into this group. The second group EuroRastaFucked wear these pants that we have dubbed the “big ball pants” because the crotch hangs almost to the ground. There are also jeans that are made in this big ball style and are the nastiest trend ever made. They remind me of McHammer pants but not tiger print. The people in this group wear their hair in dreads or some part of the head is shaved and the other is in dreads. They always have hemp on whether it’s a necklace or a huge bag with a dog in it. EuroTrash has many people in it! Anyone with a mullet is in this group no questions asked. You may be asking yourself really Erin do that many people actually have mullets…well the answer is YES they do. There are many with proper mullets with the business in the front and the party in the back and other mullets that have their own spin. Kate has names for most of them; the cock’s crow, the feathermess, the 27 textured creation and so on. This section will have to be accompanied with photos or NO ONE will believe our asses. The 27 textures is very popular with it’s straight bangs, shaved on the sides, the back is long and curly, and on top there is this lil spot that the chic spikes with gel…it’s a creation only to marvel at! The last group is the younger crowd who hasn’t really discovered who they are and what they want to wear so they just wear anything. Goth and chains are a must and the layering look is really popular. Some of them look like fake ghetto hoodlums and the others look like fake rockers…all and all not good. I sit in the subway and think to myself, “Do these people really get up in the morning, look in the mirror, fix themselves up and really feel like they look fly?” The fashion here is so different from the states and London and anywhere I’ve been. I guess you either like it or hate it.

Catalans

People from home have asked me what the differences in people from here and from the states are. I can only answer this question half way because living in BCN is different from living in other places in Spain. The Catalan people are a very proud people. They believe (not all) that because they have their own language and culture that they should be an independent country from Spain. There are many t-shirts, flags, and bumper stickers proclaiming the want to be considered separate from Spain. I have seen t-shirts saying I’m from Barcelona not Spain. Every Catalan family in our hood has a flag, donkey sticker, or something to let people know where they are from. Just recently the schools have been reformed to teach Spanish, Catalan, and English. Back a few years ago some schools only taught one or the other and it was big drama. There is still drama where this issue is concerned because some families only speak Catalan and then their children are sent to school and learn Spanish. The children who speak both Catalan and Spanish have to go with their parents or grandparents to the doctors to be able to communicate. It’s weird. I have a mother, Josephina who isn’t Catalan who has told me that many people in Spain have a negative attitude toward the Catalans. She told me that in Madrid some people dislike the Catalans because they are hard headed (or so she tells me) and the Catalans have some of the same feelings towards the Madrid people. I only have seen real beef from these countries through futbol! My Catalan lil boys don’t like Madrid’s futbol team or their players. To me people are people and no matter what country or color or what language you speak, they are the same. I have met stubborn, nice, quiet, bitchy, goal-oriented, bratty, sympathetic, and wonderful people here in Spain. Mostly people have asked me about the men here, but again I can only speak from my experiences. Men are men point blank. I guess you could say overall the guys are more forward here. When we walk down the streets they hisss at us and mooo (the hissing is to get our attention and the mooing is something to do with the fact that we have boobs). Kate and I realized when on the Tranny beach this summer that someone LIED to us that French men are ugly! We saw Luke’s twin (hot) and his gang of gay friends all in their tighty lil swim shorts. Kate also found a hottie named Antonie and he’s French. French dudes are Hot as Hell and if you disagree with me than your blind as a bat! But back to the men here in Spain…the ones I’ve met are nice, proud to be from here, and smooth talkers for sure. I’m sure if anyone visits me they’ll find that they’re plenty of men from around the world to choose from here in BCN!

TEFL Teaching

Just so I don’t leave out any of the embarrassing things the other teachers did during the weeks of us teaching here they are:
Kate taught a lesson on the difference between zoo animals and pets. Her lesson was good with pictures and then she started talking about her pet bird, Bill the Bird, that her mother accidentally killed. Kevin said he almost fell out of his chair and wrote her a funny message on her observation paper! She also tried to explain what a squirrel was and what a deer was. No one knew what a “lil miniature horse” was and they all started freaking out about this so called lil horse! I was so nervous the first time I was up in front of the class that I almost puked! All of my observers said I was white as a ghost and had this Nazi like approach when I called on a student! It was horrible! Steve Allen was the “okay” king of the world and once Annie counted on her paper how many times he said okay and it was absurd! Eventually he stopped saying okay and all was good in the world, but that didn’t stop him from running around the classroom smacking the floor and shouting FLOOR and the same for door and window…it was freaking amazing! Kris was teaching us Americans and he had this whole thing planned on his laptop and when he reached for it he dropped the MAC right on the floor and everyone gasped! The laptop made it thank God, but Kris was so worked up he was like F it. Sam was teaching a lesson on materialism and we had a student who owned her own studio and is a fashion designer, Laura. Sam was asking her some names famous designers like Fendi and he was writing the names on the dry erase board and spelling them completely ass backward and wrong! I was dying. Then he hummed Madonna’s Living in a Material World and we lost it! Oh shit another poke on me…I was teaching a lesson on Love and on the top of the worksheet is asked the question Are you a good Lover? There were questions asking the students to say if they would cheat, only have one partner, ect. Jordi (hate) decided to ask me in front of the entire class, “What do they mean by lover? Do they mean sex?” I just stood there and answered the question, “No Jordi they want to know about you ethics concerning relationships.” Meanwhile in the back of the class Steve A, Sam, and Kevin were losing it. Kevin dropped his papers and was laughing so loud I thought I was going to lose it. Sam had tears down his face and Steve wouldn’t stop either. I had to turn and face the whiteboard to compose myself and teach the rest of the lesson. It was a mess! Annie taught an entire lesson with her fly down and Steve and I pissed ourselves the entire time! I’m not nice…duh! Steve S would walk in to every class and say, “Hello class my name is Stephen. You can call me Stephen. Not only am I going to be your teacher I’m going to be your friend.” No joke. Kate said she peed her pants every time he said it and it sounded creepy each and every time he did it. Kate also taught a lesson on night life and parties. After class Ramses walked up to her and was like, “You like to party?” Kate told him that she did and then he gave her a piece of paper with a website on it and told her to check it out. Later we realized the website was a Furries website (people dressing up like furry animals and having pretend sex) and almost died! Kate said she could never look at Ramses in the eyes again.
So, all in all it was a success and I got to meet a lot of people through the classes such as Marc my new friend and intercambio.

Danny

Did you know that we have the only “naturally hydrated” friend in the entire world? Well, we do and his name is Danny Rosenberg. The shit that comes out of this boy’s mouth is the MAIN reason I’m allowing him to have an entire section in my blog. He told me once that I was an idiot because my top ingredients in a stir-fry didn’t include broccoli! “Slay some tail” is his number one phrase and if you hang out with him for more than a couple of minutes you’ll hear it! Slaying Tail is in fact having sexual intercourse with a female. Whether Danny can actually “pull some tail” is still to be found out. Ha joke Dan I know you’re a pimp. During the TEFL course we had to teach adults English lessons every day. Danny had a lesson on adjectives and he was using people to help get his point across. The people were short, tall, fat, thin, and pasty. Yeah, he taught the adults pasty and he was pointing to his skin saying that he was pasty and other people in the room that were tan weren’t pasty…the other teachers observing almost fell out of our sets with laughter! When we first started teaching ever teacher was REALLY nervous and everyone had to get use to being in front of grown adults teaching something that we take for granted, English. Danny was nervous one day and all the adults were in groups working on their assignment and he said, “Okay class lets reconvene.” The observers about died because no one knew what he wanted and there was mass confusion. Having the teachers in the background laughing didn’t make matters any better for poor Dan. We said let’s reconvene almost every day in the course after that! Kevin especially loved the class that day! Another catch phrase Danny is heard saying most often is, “You wanna smoke a heater?” What the definition is I’ll leave up to your imagination. Danny is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met and I’m sure I’ll add on to this section as time goes by!

Sub Rosa

So, Sub Rosa is the bar that we frequent most nights here in BCN. It’s located in the crazy mazelike alleyways of the Gothic. The bar is a hole in the wall and kind of seedy, but we love it. The place is always dark and smoky and the music is always some sort of techno remix of the Beatles or someone from that era. The bartenders are all very nice and hook us up with crazy cocktails (always happy hour price) and free shots! The cocktails…damn where do I even start? They have the drinks scribbled on the wall with chalk; Mojitos that will knock your socks off, Bellini Sours that are made with cava and vodka, the most amazing Sex on the Beaches, Pina Coladas that are creamy copulation of delight, and Caiprhanas that if you digest you might as well call it a night! We have a joke that Paul the bartender spikes the drinks with some sort of drugs because no matter how sober we are when we arrive we can’t seem to make it out if there with any sense! One night the whole crew rolled in (along with Martin’s dad) and Kate found here boy lover and I ended up making out with my intercambio by accident. Later I explained to Marc what “beer goggles” were and that I had them on that night!! Oh and Bob I have an amazing picture of the girls bathroom for you!

The Start of Something Great:

We arrived to BCN airport exhausted after a car ride from Cincinnati to Chicago, a 14 hour plane ride, and a 10 hour layover in the most God awful airport. We hailed a cab with all of our belongings and headed to Las Ramblas where we believed our hostel was located. The cabby took us to the middle of Ramblas and told us our hostel would be very close. We got out of the cab looked around and decided we were already lost. We started walking with our suitcases, rut sacks, pillows, and everything else we had around the catacombs of the Barri Gothic (streets that all look the same with no names and no numbers). We must have passed our hostel’s reception 5 times because it is not a door but an opening in a wall! Finally, we realize there is a door there and go in only to find out the hostel gave our rooms to someone else. We waited in the streets for them to find us a place to sleep that night. Today in BCN was the hottest day they had had all summer. Finally, the hostel found us a place to stay for a night. The girl said “Follow me” so we followed. I thought we were going down the street or up the many stairs there in the Gothic, but NO we weren’t. Lucky for us the hostel had the farthest room opens for us. We got to ride the metro for the first time with all of our belongings and tug our bags up and down numerous stairs. After walking for what seemed like 25 minutes we finally stopped and she said “We’re here!” Next, we carried all of our things up more steps because there was no lift and found our interior room. We all decided we were too tired to do anything but shower because we had all lost at least 10 lbs. on the way there. Annie was like, “hey there’s a window here, let’s open it.” She opened it to another person’s room! The room resembled a hallway with three beds and hangers on the wall for coats and wet stuff. We slept and the next day did it all over again because we weren’t at the correct hostel we booked months prior on the net. The next hostel was in a much better location and our roommates were cool travelers from different countries. We partied like rockstars for the first week, went on pubcrawls, went shopping, spent loads of money, and had a great time. Our hostel guests changed daily and some we made friendships with others just came and went. The hostel was airy and clean and had internet so we were happy. We were all in school for around 8-10 hours a day so we didn’t really stay in the hostel until we slept. One night Kate and I decided it would be a great idea to do laundry in the kitchen. Above the washer was a sign that read: For linens only, Not for Personal Use. We decided that everyone would be asleep really late so we’d do it then and get up super early to get it out. Now it was a good idea except the washer broke since we put 500lbs of crap in it. The next morning we wake up and Kate walks to the kitchen and I hear her swear so I’m like oh no someone stole our shit…no worse water EVERYWHERE in the kitchen! Kate and I are grabbing drenched clothes out of the washer and ringing them out in the sink and trying to not laugh because it’s just our luck! We had to get the clothes out of the washer fast because the cleaning lady came early to clean the sheets for the next guests and we had to be at school. We were working in like an assembly line grabbing the soaked clothes, ringing, sopping up the floor, putting in a pile and doing all over again! I was peeing my pants because there is no way this would happen to anyone else in a million years! Kate was getting more and more pissed by the second when I asked, “Where we gonna put these?” So, now we have the wettest possible clothing you’ve ever felt in a huge soaking pile in the kitchen and nowhere to hang em! Then I remembered the bungee clothes line Luke lent me before I set off. I got the cord out and strung it from my bunk to Kate’s bed. We started hanging the wet mess on the line until it bent all the way to the ground and had to resort to hanging the rest on the chairs and lamps! When we left the room looked like a bomb had gone off. We made it to class and our clothes were at least clean! When we got back everything was hung outside on the sheets line by the cleaning lady, bless her heart! After that night we decided we needed some sleep so we went to bed early. I was awoken by a loud crash and saw a lamp that was near the door all the way across the room by the window! I was like “WTF!” Kate goes, “Erin you hear that?” Then we see the two crazy ass German boys staying with us stumble in and puke on the floor! The one boy is hanging out the window while the other is kicking in all the metal lockers located outside our room. Kate says, “I’m putting on my gym shoes because if they come near me I’m kicking as hard as I can!” I say, “Yep!” So, were lying in our beds hearing the commotion but not able to see anything because the light is shattered on the floor. I was so anxious that entire night and Kate was swearing at the Germans and no one slept a wink that night. Knowing Kate and myself the next morning we reported the boys and they were kicked out! After the nightmare, Punk Paul and Not so Silent Jim, our British friends moved in and all was good with the world. We were with the Brits for a night and then found our wonderful flat in the clouds and moved in!

Smell this:

You know when you smell something horrible or taste a bad piece of cheese you always make a face, say gross, yuck and then ask someone else to smell or taste it! Right? It’s just like the sophomoric humor of Saved By the Bell when AC Slater smells his gym shorts and makes a face and asks Screech to smell em and he does. Well, this exact thing happened at the god awful airport we were stranded at for like ten hours before we flew to BCN. There was nothing in the airport open, period. We boarded the plane during the day and the flight crew decided it was time to sleep so they killed all the lights in the entire plane. We weren’t tired so we sat there in the dark. The food came around and we looked at it and decided it wasn’t worth eating so we just sat until we got to Italy. As I said the airport was awful. It’s the 21st century and I believe that every airport should have a food court open at all times or at least one restaurant open 24/7. It’s not that much to ask. We had to wait for hours until this one place decided to open and everyone in the entire airport rushed in because everyone was starving. We ordered cafeteria style and got slices of pizza and I ordered a Fanta. The Fanta was the color of purple so I thought it was grape, which is my favorite kind of sugary soda pop. I ate my nasty pizza and opened my soda. I lifted the bottle to my face and just before the liquid hit my tongue I smelled something out of the ordinary. It was too late I already put the bottle to my mouth and took a huge swig! The world stopped! I looked left and right to see if there was anywhere to spit the liquid out, but no it had to go down. After I realized what happened I exclaimed that it was the worst thing I had ever tasted and offered it to Kate! She took a drink and also concurred that it was disgusting. We took the pop to one of the workers in the terminal and asked what the flavor was. I about died when he said it was GINGER flavored. Seriously folks the worst thing I’ve ever smelt or tasted. Someone should be killed for thinking it was a good idea and then someone else agreeing.

Albania

Add one stamp to the passport:
It all starts years ago when Kate was in college where she befriended Chris. They hung out, graduated, and eventually fell out of touch…that is until she moved to Spain and Chris to Albania. Albania? Yes. Albania. Get out a map now because I know you don’t know where it is not unlike Kate and me. We thought it was in God forsaken spot on the globe like Russia! So, this is where the story gets good. Chris facebooks Kate and asks her to a Marine Ball in December. She tells me and we laugh because number one it’s way too random, Chris isn’t in the Marines, and where the Hell is Albania? After figuring out on the map that Albania is near Spain and right next to Greece Kate changes her tune and decides to give it a go, but not without telling Chris that she has a cool ass roommate (me duh). The next thing you know we’re on a plane headed to Germany and then on to Albania. The flight was good we ate two bocadillos (cheese and bread) and then we were exiting the plane and heading to Albania’s customs. The lady informed us that we had to pay 10 Euros to get into the country…seriously never heard this kind of shit in my life! Chris was waiting for us at the airport along with his driver, Cody and his girlfriend Tori, and two other Marines. We headed off to the Castle in Albania to do some sightseeing before lunch. While driving we met everyone and they explained that Albania was a communist country until recently and that was why there were no fences or walls (because everyone shared land) and why there were pill boxes (igloo type concrete buildings with a hole for a gun to shoot enemies) everywhere! Albania is the poorest European country and the least visited by tourists. The landscape was green and the houses were either in disrepair or the type of house you’d find by the beach (not real sturdy but colorful and on stilts). We walked to the castle through all the tourist shops where they were selling everything from homemade clothes and shoes to tiger wall hangings (who dey!). I was super surprised to hear that EVERYONE spoke English! The castle was old and cool but there was trash everywhere on the grounds of the castle and leading up to it and everywhere. The people all seemed excited to see us. After the castle we went to lunch at the nicest restaurant in the whole of Albania where the Marines frequent. Dragoosh the owner had a feast waiting for us and when I say feast let me explain…first the boys tell us not to eat a lot of the appetizers because there is a lot more coming and then we see what they meant by more! The table was set with loads of bread, salads, veggie trays, cheese and tomatoes, a spinach dish, and goat cheese. After I had to try each thing to make sure it was ok for everyone else to eat (you know that I would be the one to die instead of my fellow man) the waiters brought out fries, more cheese, some yogurt sauce( Kate was inhaling it), and so much else I can’t even remember (maybe because I sampled the Tirana beer and Christmas Vino made only in Albania from berries only grown there). We tried to tell the waiters no more but they wouldn’t stop! Next was the meat. There was this hamburger looking thing with cheese in the middle, a lamb cabob, and a lamb steak along with fixings. They said there were more courses but we insisted we couldn’t waste anymore food! Walking there and looking at all the poor people and thinking about how much food was going to be thrown away made me sick or maybe it was all the wine. This restaurant was the type of place where if you finished something then you got another no questions asked so if you didn’t want more then you didn’t finish it. That’s when Kate looked at me and said if she finished her glass of wine (who knows what number it was) that she would in fact fall down the damn steps. After Dragoosh and his translator (which he really didn’t need) finished their drinks and smoked their cigars they informed us that we were having coffee downstairs in another part of the restaurant. We walk downstairs and luckily Kate made it with no broken bones and walked through the doors to this buffet of a dessert table. I was like Hell no! We HAD to try all the dessert because it was a custom and it was traditional Albanian food and it was amazing. More wine, banana custard type heaven with chocolate, fruit with cinnamon, and the traditional dessert that was rice, cinnamon, sugar, some sort of meat, and fruit (it tasted like a Christmas candle smells). After coffee the disco balls were turned on and the music was blaring and the driver started to karaoke Hotel California! Then we left so stuffed and buzzzzzed and rode off about 20 minutes to the Sheraton hotel.
The car that we were riding around in was a SUV armored bullet proof vehicle that weighs over 8 tons. The Sheraton Tirana Hotel & Towers is by far the nicest building in the capital city. Kate and I ran up to our room took one good look at the 5 star hotel room and dove in the amazing beds with mass pillows and a comfy squishy down comforter! Then it was lights out for a lil siesta before the marines could show us what Albania had to offer as night life. So, I just have to say that the night before we left Kate was on crack and was walking through our apt singing and griping that she had no one to play with at 2am in the morning (our flight was at 6 and we had to leave at 4 so I got up at 3) because I went to bed and Martin wouldn’t talk to her anymore! When I saw that fluffy, wonderful, big, pillow filled, dream come true bed it was OVER. I didn’t even undress just jumped in and let the coma commence!
Later, Chris came in and woke us up and let us know that the night was crammed full of exciting places for us to go and that him and his boys haven’t been out in forever so it was time to get crazy. The marines are in Albania protecting the American Embassy and they are in a certain program for 4 years. Marcus (my date from Texas...he would freak out if I didn’t mention that) has been to Iraq and Iberia and the other marines have been other places protecting other consulates. They work all different times of the day and all six live together in this house that reminded me of a frat house but much cleaner. They have a pool table, flat screen, Xbox, a bar, sweet gym, and a cook. Chris said they mostly watch movies, read magazines, and play Xbox (Halo3). Cody said that they don’t go out because there aren’t many places to go and they have stuff to do early in the morning like running 3 miles (no big deal I told them). We started the night in the hotel lobby and then went to the bar that they go to most often. Andy, the bar owner, knows everyone by name and had an awesome banner printed up that said Happy Birthday Victoria (Tori Cody’s girlfriend from Cape Town, South Africa). We sat upstairs in our own private stop in the bar and Andy brought us Tirana beer, shots, and munchies all night long. More marines showed up and another couch had to be moved upstairs to accompany all of our asses and then they ran out of Tirana beer and Heineken and then ran out of whatever else we were drinking so we decided to dance party it for a minute with the kid in the bar and go on to the only karaoke bar in Albania. We walk in and this place was packed! Chris and Marcus wasted no time putting their names on the list to sing Oasis, Sweet Home Alabama, and whatever the only other song Marcus knew (we tried to get him to sing like 50 songs but because hes never heard of the Beatles or Steve Miller or any band that counts we had to let him choose the songs). Oh yeah Marcus raps! “Mirror Mirror on da wall who is da freshest of dem all?” “She’s sliding down that pole…Girl don’t be so cruel.” Marcus had to work when everyone else got to meet us so he didn’t know how amazing Kate and I were until Andy’s bar. When he walked in I was like mirror mirror and Kate was like Marcus don’t be so cruel…and then he knew he would luv us! After we sang too many songs we headed to a club that Marcus (being who he was and all) ensured us was bangin…and we were the only people there! You know that didn’t stop Tori and I from jumping up on stage and Tori busted out her pole dancing skills. By the end of the night Marcus and I were rappin TuPac, Tori was still on that damn pole, Kate and Chris were spinning each other, and Fredo (the driver) was chilling watching us fools be drunks. We all piled in the armored SUV and made it back to the hotel in one piece. Kate dared the hotel to have food for her drunk ass and I about pissed myself when she said, “I dare the hotel to have a dang bocadilla!” The marines have these things called rules which I don’t even get at all but they had to be home at a certain time for this unknown thing called curfew. Good thing we started early and cleaned out all the bars in Albania of their bruskeys.
We didn’t wake up until around 12 and the only reason we got out of bed was because the damn cleaning lady kept bothering us. We ordered room service (duh) and then called Tori to go out and see Tirana. About 6 minutes later we were back in the hotel looking from something to do while we killed time before the ball. The boys were busy practicing some gun thing for the ceremony that night. Kate asked the receptionist if we could go see the futbol game that we could see from our window. She “advised” us not to go because we were female and women don’t go to sporting events in Albania (yea Kate was pissed not because of the match but because of the no women in sports thing). In Albania their currency is the Leke and it is stronger than the US dollar. NO ONE can make me understand the whole currency rate/exchange crap. I’ve asked many souls what’s up with the dollar being shit because I thought America was all big and bad and that would mean our money was good right...no. We gave the receptionist 40 Euros and she in turn gave us around 4800 Leke and we didn’t have to get anymore the entire trip. Kate said, “Damn I feel rich,” to the receptionist as she was exchanging her money and the lady replied, “You are.” So, we killed time by visiting the boy’s house and playing video games. Have to put this in writing Kate is the WORST car racing game player in the world! She was like a drunk Huggins swerving all over the road and hitting shit left and right. She messed up her car so bad in the first few minutes it wouldn’t even drive straight! We got to drink a root beer so I was happy. After that we got ready and went to the ball. Kate yells, “Erin Erin,” I run in the bathroom and she’s sitting there in the tub with bubbles past her neck!
So, the ball started off with photos and cocktail hour. Kate, Tori, and I people watched and commented on at least 97.9% of the chic’s outfits. Chris’ gunnery sergeant asked him if we knew what “appropriate was” because we lived in Spain and were American. My God I should have taken pics of these grown women and their “dresses.” Anyways, we looked amazing (of course) and stole the show when the three of us pranced in through the metal detector. The Albanian CIA (of whatever they are called) were definitely talking on their walkie-talkies about us! There was a ceremony with guns and the cutting of a huge cake with a sword. The Albanian ambassador (the smartest man I’ve probable ever met) gave his speech, we watched a short film about the Marines, and then dinner was served. Marcus looked at his appetizer plate and was like, “yum egg and what is all this,” while pointing at the rest of his plate. I informed him that they were called vegetables and that you can eat them. During dinner (I was sitting across from the ambassador and Kate was across from the Albanian main security big wig) Kate and I played let’s not get thrown in Albanian jail for running our mouths. Of course we were at the head table in front of the entire ball of around 250 people! After dinner we danced, drank, and got ugly! Kate was sitting at the head table drinking the Crown Royal we smuggled in when she professed, “I wish I was crippled because I would just chair dance all night!” We had thought about staying at the ball until like 11pm and then going to the bars, but you know we closed that bitch down! All the staff was like okay you can leave now you American fools! After we left we went to our room and Kate was laying on the bed bitching about her feet and said, “I would rather give birth than have my feet feel like this!” Then shit hit the fan! Everyone decided the night was NOT over and brought the party to our room. I’m so glad that we were the only ones in that hotel or we so would have been kicked out! Kate was wrestling Marcus, Cody was showing his ass (literally and figuratively), Tori was watching her boy turn into Mr. Out-of-control, I was wearing a Marine hat, Marcus was drunk, and Chris was, “having a good time.” You’ll have to check out the pics to see how the entire night played out! “For some reason I want to tackle Kate and like really hurt her like spear her,” says Cody. “I dare you,” I answer knowing full well that Kate would knock him the Hell out! Just then it dawns on me that I would love to throw Cody on the ground so I jump up (he’s tall) and pull his head to his knees (this is where he buckles) and then I do it again and again until he grabs my feet and pulls me down too. Remember it’s like around 3am and we’re in the hall of the hotel and I still don’t know why! Finally we had enough of being drunk and crazy and decide to head to our room. Kate leaves and knocks minutes later where she emerges dressed in blues (Marine dress uniform)! One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life; Kate saluting, wearing the uniform, and being drunk as Hell. I pass out in like one second and wake up to Marcus laughing and telling me to lick my lips. I was not thinking correctly so I did and that’s when I tasted sour cream and onion (yuck ewww nasty). “I put Pringles in your mouth as a wake-up call because I was talking and you just fell asleep,” said Marcus. Kate is now peeing her blues or Marcus’ blues! Sleep. Then we leave the country without getting arrested, shot, of blown up by a land mine!
On the way home we get two more bocadillas, rubbed our stumps (they were our feet before we wore heels for 18 hours) and got to see the lady next to us digging for gold (ask Kate). I asked Kate if she knew that gold prices were down! So, all in all we had such a great time getting away for the weekend, seeing Chris and meeting the other guys, and dancing the night away with Albanians! I’ll post the pics on Kate’s webshots so definitely check them out. www.webshots.com/katehopsEmail me with any burning questions about the trip and if there are inside jokes you don’t get…tough.

One Sunny December Day:

Remember when it was December 8th and we were having a picnic in the park…well that was today! I talked to mom the other day and she said Lakota had a snow day and everyone from home has been facebooking me about the cold weather! I still think it gets too cold here for my tastes but it is “temperate” and I haven’t seen a single flake of snow so I guess it’s alright. Kate and I met up with a lot of other TEFL teachers and friends at Parc De la Ciutadella and had lunch and cava. Parc De La Ciutadella has the Arc de Triomf, the Catalan Parliament building, museums, and a botanical garden. That night everyone met out for drinks for Steve Allen’s birthday and Kate, Danny, Steve and I had sushi at a really cool neighborhood near our hood. I am definitely going to take people to this stretch of bars and restaurants because there is such a wide variety and every place is cool in its own way. I do believe I made an ass of myself after drinking wine to pregame, sake and vino at dinner, vodka at the first bar, going to Sub Rosa (I already explained this place puts drugs in their drinks), and whatever else I drank at the other 50 bars and clubs we ended up in! Thanks Kris for taking care of me!!

Back in BCN

So, now I’m back in BCN. John Perrette will be here in two weeks so I’m looking forward to that. Also, Carnival will be talking place while he’s here visiting and I’m going to guarantee some CRAZY pics from that debacle! I have decided to give my Monday and Wed private classes to other TEFL teachers and pick up classes at a school my friend Kris works for. Hopefully everything will work out and all these new classes will pay my ass enough to stay here in lovely Spain! Anne Ryan and her boyfriend are coming to visit after John for my Birthday so I’m super excited about that too. The BIG 25 baby! What better way to celebrate being 25 years young then in Spain with friends from Cincy! I’m also Very happy about Ohio State losing. Kate now has a tear forming! Bob I saw Munchchis in Amsterdam and I got pics! I hope everyone is doing good back at home. I have heard from some of you about New Years and skiing, school, cheering, and rehab. Kate and I are glad the Holidays are over so now we can get into a routine again, but are sad to see everyone leave BCN. Leslie I hope you had fun and Kate’s parents I hope the neighbors didn’t scare you and the house wasn’t too small!
Friday I had a great day here in BCN. The weather was SO nice that Steve and I rented bikes and rode all around Barcelona. We ate at a crepes joint (I can’t get enough of em) and drank cheap red wine (I almost had an accident after drinking and getting back on that bike). I really cannot remember the last time my ass was on a bike! Then crazy 80’s Steve ended up singing 80’s songs all night while we got drunk the broke people way (at home). Since I’ve picked up new classes I am now an early riser! I can’t believe it but it’s necessary if I want to live like a rock star again here in BCN! Remember if you want to come visit let me know and I’ll put you on the list…better hurry and make a decision bc people are sucking up the dates quicker than I Lil Tommed it home from Sub Rosa on Sunday when I was a bit under the influence (that means fast)!
People don’t forget about me and email me! If you have anything you need to send to me call John and he’ll bring it. Someday when I get some time I’ll post pics so keep an eye out and I’ll update the blog. Love you all. Miss you. Besos, E